So I am at work and just on a break so thought I will make a quick post.
I have been struggling big time recently over the last few weeks (more so than I ever have as far as I can remember), in truth it is only me who can make the changes I need to make to stay gamble free, I know what I have to do and I just have to do it, simple as that!!
I am 40 in about 2 weeks and I dont want to carry on in the same way as I have for the last 26 years!, it gets exhausting, I am fully responsible for my gambling and it is all my own doing and I have no one else to blame, I know this, I understand this and most importantly I accept this, I will keep fighting this addiction and I will keep trying, I know what grief, stress, hurt and pain gambling not only causes me but also to the ones I love and I will also work hard one day at a time to make amends for the wrong I have done towards people.
In short just for today I am living with the ramifications of the choices I have made, just for today I accept that.
Must get back to work and earn some money, like all compulsive gamblers and I am no different………I know how hard it is to earn money just to live but wouldnt think twice about putting a weeks wages on a bet that would be lost in 60 seconds!!!, what madness, God how does my mind work this way……think a need a complete rewire of the brain.
Take care all, thanks for listening and wish you all well.
Maverick