So deeply sorry to read this Vera but also so full of admiration for your bravery in coming back to share and seek help.
It is a constant battle – the urges are never far away and the temptation is overwhelming. You have achieved an amazing 27 months and you can do it again.
Denial is useful but so is action- when you are ready you can start a new plan and start to rebuild the money .
Of course we all know it’s not just about the money – it’s the horrible feelings you described on Lizbeth’s thread – the horrible aftermath when reality kicks in.
You have helped so many on here – start a new thread and let the community help you through this .
Xx