Dear diary
The joy and reward in my recovery come from the growing confident and trust in working the program each day, and watching all the goodness that appear in my life walking down a different street.
I notice the goodness all have one thing in common, it was all about making a difference in somebody life. It was all about giving up my ways, letting go of the steering wheel and allowing the Higher Power to do its work. I have become a passenger but I can still see what the Higher Power do.
My Higher Power comforted a cab driver, I did not flag the first cab, took the next one and chatted with the cab driver, he shared about a passenger who did not pay his fare and file a complaint against him to the cab company, the cab driver was feeling very victimized and down by this incident. When I reach my destination, I paid him 10 dollars for a 5 dollar fare and ask him to keep the change, I left his cab seeing a big smile on his face, he say that the change I gave him was too much, I told him it was alright, I just hope the experience will be a relief for the painful and negative ones.
My Higher Power comforted a recovering person. Many including myself can read but did not use the recovering material made available to us.
On Monday I met a 59 years old man who wanted to recover, but all material is written in English, he cannot read but it did not stop him. I saw him struggling to learn English word for word because he wanted to learn from the recovery program. I actually went shopping for second hand book yesterday, I want to get an English to Chinese dictionary for this man. I have never done this before in 50 years of my life.
I was encourage to do it because I have met other man who cannot read English many years ago but is today chairing a meeting in English. I have high respect for these people.
I was only concern about one thing in my recovery. I tell myself not to seek self-glory and not to talk about it but I could not do it. I am not to boast, it can hurt my recovery, but at the same time, I felt excited to share the love and joy in recovery felt in the AA or NA fellowship. If a person wants to continue to gamble, to take alcohol or drugs, it is none of my business, I will walk away but if a person sincerely want to stop, I see that it is my business.
I give to receive – AA recovery paradoxes