I am in the same Situation as Claire ( and understand what she must be groing thru) and I am totally lost and dont know what to do. My husband always had a drinking problem ( where he can’t stop once he starts) and on top of that he started some serious gambling ( before it was once in a while). Unfortunately the casino is right in between his work and home. 🙁 When he is sober or lost lot of money he tells me that he is not going to back and he will give all his cards etc.) Silly me, I trust him and support him thinking he will change. He is extremely smart and he works for a company and is in a very good position. There are days when he attends couple meeting from home and leaves in the afternoon and come back next morning at 5:30 or 6:00 AM. Couple time, I went to the parking lot of casino and found his car there. I haven/t confronted him yet. I am worried by doing do so, it will only make things worse as he might stop his car somehwere else and take uber to casino. He expects me not to say anything. Anythig I say he will blame it on me and the kids and he becomes agressive and I just leave the room without makig a scene.
I have two grils ( ages 17 and 13). Both know what is happening, 17 thinks he only drinks. He doesnt involve in any of their things and when he is sober he gets what thet want to make them happy, I started to lie to my older daughter stating he came early etc, as she is freaks out and I do not want this to interfere in HS and in her collage search. Once I found two reciepts (This was a while back) where he took 5k and 3k, Since then I have no idea how much he has been taking. He chaged the passwords and I gave no access..Whie I was out of Country, he was leaving both dauthers at home and used to come at 5:30 or so.
He thinks he doesnt have a gambling or drinking problem. With great difficulty, I made his see an addiction doctor and he talked about his depression ( sayimg he has too many things on his plate by mentioning his job position and my health,….which is a crap) and how its effecting him and which is making him go for drinking, but he doesm/t mention amything about his Gambling.. He does not want me to go wth him to the doctor..He changed three meds for depression taked them for four days) and saying he can not function with the sideeffects. He says underlying proboem is depression not gambling or drinking, Divorce is not a option for me now as its going to effect my kids futire based on the ages there in. BTW I worled for 20 years and i am SAHM now for health reasons, He gives my health as a reason too,,, as I said he is very manipulative and doctors easily belive him.
Please tell me what I should be doing……As I am writing this he us at casino and tells me he is at a friends place and he is not up for driving, he will come in the morning..
He is elite member and I dont know his pin to log in and check his activities, Nothing is my favour, Dont know if got close with someone there. I did ask him and he laughted over it.
Serouly I am heart broken. He also got DUI ( not for driving but for tresspassing making a scene). he didnt give me the details as usual. I found the citation.
Any suggestions??
Sorry for the long post