My last post here was on 28. August 2018. I decided to stay strong and not gamble anymore, at least with not real money. It was hard in the beginning but with the time I started to feel better. I started a part time job to keep myself busy and to fix my financial issues. Everything was going as per plan. I had urges but I was strong enough to keep them away.
Just when I felt I have defeated gambling urges. I woke up yesterday at 4 o’ clock in the morning, went to the drawing room, opened my laptop, logged in to the gambling site, deposited 2000 Euros and lost 1600 Euros! What the hell I did! I realized that there is devil inside me who pushed me to gamble and to LOSE money. I really felt that I played to LOSE money. This is sick! All my hard work of past month is destroyed. I felt so bad yesterday. I am a bad person….am destroying mine and my wife’s life…….