Hey All,
Home safely and tired. Almost 900 miles of running around in about 36 hours.
The funeral went as all funerals do. Mom had a what I believe was a panic attack. Don’t know what was said or what she may have said, as she was sitting with two of her sisters and talking. ( I asked if my brother if we should leave mom with them alone, he said well they are her sisters and know how she is.)We were sitting in the back of the church and she came over, one hand clutching her cane and the other on her chest. We sat her down, tears in her eyes, asking what was wrong. She said I don’t know but my chest hurts and I feel like fainting. My sister in law took her pulse, I gave her hard candy and she was still uncomfortable. My sister suggested we take her out and get her some air and food. We did that, she felt better with in 5 minutes. My sister told her that unless she needed medical attention she needed to not talk about being ill, as today was not about her. We took her back but our visit time was running short. I asked my brother if he wanted to stay for the actual funeral and he said leave it up to Mom. She said she had had enough and wanted to leave. So we said our good bye’s and were off.
Had an interesting conversation with my Aunts oldest daughter. She is a devout Christian and really lives the sermon, but doesn’t preach it. I admire someone like that, I really do. ( She gets that from her mother).
We talked about my mom. She said you know Aunt XX has a heart of gold bettie, for all her faults she can be very thoughtful and giving. I told her that she makes everyone around her miserable and I just didn’t know what I could do for her. She said Bettie, she just doesn’t like herself. I told her well XXXXX, she passed that to her children. I could see the tears in her eyes, and she asked me how was I doing? I told her better now, but it has taken me 47 years to figure out what the problem was, and I’m working on it.
It’s like she could tell I was in some type of recovery, with out even asking. I felt the presence of God for the first time, in a long time, standing in that bathroom, in that Church, in front of one of the many murals that she and her mom had painted for the church when it was built 2 years ago. She said her mom said she didn’t know how to paint. She told her she couldn’t do it alone. she said her mom had a lot of talent, she just didn’t know it. She said we all did.
My brother told my cousin when we were leaving how sorry he was, that she was a great Aunt, and must have been a wonderful mother.
thanks you guys, my recovery buddy’s. Don’t know what I would do with out you!
peace
bettie
