Hi Guys,
Oh Wednesday-why can’t it be Thursday? Got an email at work that we have yet another call night scheduled for tonight. They act like we don’t have any life outside of this stupid bank. I have been stressed about it since I saw the email yesterday, In reality I have panic attacks when it comes to calling people! I know that sounds stupid but it I despise making those calls. Well i am getting myself worked up and my mood is going to have to calm down so I can get through the day. All I want to do is climb back into bed and pull the covers over my head.
Thanks Lizbeth~recovery is hard work. So many emotions!
Larry, I always feel like a student getting praise from the wise professor when you post! Thank you for your encouragement and support, it means a lot to me. I do have to question if it is fear or concern that keeps me from telling my "secret". I always fear others opinion of me. My sponsor said my brother would be proud of me but somehow I don’t think I want to risk hurting him so I can have a pat on the back for a job well done. I am embarrassed about being a compulsive gambler. I am ashamed of what I have done, even though I believe I am the primary victim of my actions. The worse thing I think I did to anyone with my gambling was gambling instead of visiting them. I have thought long and hard about that. A lot of my gambling activity was prompted by having nothing else to do, a feeling of exclusion. I don’t blame others for my gambling but I did (do) feel abandoned by them. More onion pealing I guess.
Well, need to get moving, face my fear, and get on with it.
peace
bettie
