Hi Guys!
What will I do without a daily post from you Liz, LOL!
Well, no laughing matter but maybe you can get a typing surrogate to read and type for you!
Home from My GA meeting and a 5 year pinning. It was just beautiful. I was honored to be asked to read from the GA RED Book. First time I ever saw it. The message I was asked to read was from some one with 9 months "clean" and how they felt about driving one hour to their meeting and what they thought about driving there and back. Funny how that same story could have been mine with a few little "tweaks". I have 7 months clean today and I drive about 45 minutes. I also received a birthday gift from my sponsor- a copy of the "One Day At A Time" book. I have been looking at ordering one so that came at a good time too.
I should be in bed-big day tomorrow. Going to see a Rod Stewart and Elvis impersonator-a gift from my former gambling buddy. Nice to spend time with her and not even think about gambling. There was a little exception to that today. She had called to have me do some research for her on a bank account thats now closed. Withdrawal after withdrawal from the casino’s we went to together. I’m sure if I went to my statement from the same time frame I’d have just as many withdrawals-if not more. I sure don’t miss that!
Thank you for the birthday wishes early. I have no idea why, with all my self esteem issues, I have always felt special on my birthday. Just like a little kid I guess-cg immaturity-but in a good way.
Looking forward to my birthday cake Sunday-Monday starts my diet! Had a little cheesecake tonight, it was SO GOOD!
I had my beer and corned beef yesterday. Nice dinner with my brother. I am fortunate to have him in my life. I still feel like I can’t share my CG with him-for fear of upsetting him. I am loosing some of the shame I have been carrying around and accept that this is a mental illness. What others think of it is really none of my business-I don’t have to face them in the mirror in the morning. I know I have a family history of mental illness-schizophrenia, depression, and looking back now I believe my deceased brother had a cg problem too. I used to think what the heck is wrong with him? He always bought lottery tickets and cigarettes before gas and groceries. Almost 9 years since he passed and I am just making that connection. You know I had my one "big" win on his birthday a couple years after he died. I thought he was really pulling for me-as I needed it so bad. Little did I know that it was the beginning of the end for my gambling career. Maybe he was pulling for me after all!
peace
bettie
