Hi Guys,
Well I’m sitting here in a blue funk this morning. I’m in a poor poor me mood.
I got my "raise" yesterday. What a joke! 2.5% and the state tax increase is 2.75%. Well it’s still better than being out the whole amount but kills me that the state can just decide they have wasted so much money that they can just jump in and take more. My coworker came out with a big smile on his face and a packed of papers for the classes he has to take to be the new assistant. I’m sure his raise more than covers the tax.
I’m seeing all the folks coming in with tax refunds-big ones. 5-6 thousand dollars. No money they paid in mind you, but tax credits that they claim. Here you get money for having dependent children. Those credits go for up to 3 kids so people who have more let other people "claim" them. My "friend" who is self employed, is able to write everything off as a loss and just got $5500 back, must be nice. I haven’t revisited my tax return yet but even after paying in over 10 grand I’ll have to pay more. Gas is about $3.70 a gallon and rising.
I feel like such a jerk. I called the "fwb" about going to lunch. He said he could meet me at the restaurant next to his work. I called him when I got there. By then he had friends who stooped in his shop so he asked me to order for them all and he would pay for it. So I ate alone, played delivery girl, dropped of the food and he questioned me about the price. "No problem" and he plays Mr. Big Shot and pays for everyone. Think he could have offered to pay for mine too? All i got was a pat on the behind as he escorted me out the back door.
So he tells me thanks and he’ll see me later to give him a call. I do what I’m asked and call him around 8. He’s having car trouble but maybe I can come see him. He has all these friends-not one with a car to borrow? He said he had work to finish but to call him later. I call at 10, no answer. I call at 10:30, he has friends over and now I can’t get in but a few words in because his phone is breaking up.
Does this man have a clew as to what he does to me? Is he so cold and heartless on purpose or is it really just a matter of "stuff happens"? I’m so hurt and mad at myself. i promise myself over and over again I’m not going to let him use me, I deserve better, blah blah blah! He’s a jerk and I guess I deserve no better because I keep going back for more abuse from him. More crushed feelings. More pain. I guess since I’m not gambling I NEED to find the pain from some other source.
