Hi Guys,
Well I went to the doctor today. Blood work was OK but my numbers are are on the rise, along with my weight. I’ve gain 14 pounds ( up and down now up) since I began recovery. I keep getting told to keep my eye on recovery and let the rest fall to the back burner. I just can’t. It’s like I have to be obsessed with something. I’m in one of the hormone rollercoaster mood swings. Might I suggest the potential Ph d’s out there do a study on Compulsive Gambling, Menopause and it’s effect on recovery.
I worked out, very guilt ridden after the doctor appointment. My doctor asked me once a few years back if I was attempting suicide by obesity. Maybe he had something there. I just want to scream. My head is just full of so many emotions and thoughts and feelings. My "friend" asked if I could ever be a "normal" weight. I told him doubtful at this stage of the game. I hate this. Why can’t something. anything be easy, be "normal" in my life? WHy WHy WHy WHy WHy WHy WHy WHy WHy?
OK, I got that out. Don’t know where it’s going because there’s no answer, just the cosmic joke played on me in this life.
Ha Ha. Guess I’ve lost my sense of humor today.
bettie
