Hi Guys!
Miss P , Ej, always good to see u both!
Well it came out today. My asst manager, who I’ve known for 20 years, asked me what I was doing on Friday nights that I had to run out the door all the time. We went to lunch after work and I told her, I was attending Ga, and I was a compulsive gambler. She was shocked to say the least. She said she knew I liked to gamble and that she thought I was having money problems because I spent too much. Well she got that part right. I told her just a little, that it wasn’t about the money, it was about me, my self esteem issues, self loathing. Of course I cried like a baby.
This it the first person that I really openly said those words to, "I am a compulsive gambler", who was not in a GA meeting with me. I felt so ashamed. She is quite the pillar of the community. Responsible, respectable. the kind of person you look up to. My sponsor had told me not to tell her as I work in a bank and could open myself up to suspection. I could not help myself, I had to tell her. We are as sick as our lies. I’m tired of lying! I had to explain that to her and assure her that I had never stolen from anyone to gamble. She said she had no doubt about that. I told her I was not trying to be some kind of a snob about that, as a lot do and I could have too. I was fortunate and i never say never.
She said she was proud of me, for seeing I had a problem and doing something about it. Her son went to rehab but only after an intervention. He is in the service now, trying to get his life together. and is doing very well.
I’m still a bit shook up about telling her. I know I did the right thing.
too late to second guess myself now.
peace
bettie– 2/6/2011 5:39:59 AM: post edited by bettie.
