Hi K…first of all, I can imagine you will look very gorgeous in your wedding finery. It’s fun being a girl sometimes, isn’t it? After years of being a pretty plain jane in the way I dressed, I am starting to actually look at real outfits, putting things together, adding jewellry and scarves. Kind of fun…I’ve even actually looked at shoes with heels and pointy toes!
Just wanted to comment on your thoughts about the drama, and how it resembled a gambling "buzz". Think about gambling in terms of the chemical release that you get, and the adrenalin surge that occurs. I think that is why we are compulsive, we keep looking for a greater and greater buzz. When you do anything that creates a chemical rush (exercising, any kind of drama) you are indeed replicating the physiology, or brain chemistry, of gambling. When there is no longer that surge, you actually miss it. If you want to give it to your body in a healthy way, go for a brisk walk, or dance around your living room.
You also have to allow yourself some time to recover from the severe emotional trauma that occurred because of this incident. Be kind to yourself Kathryn…you are a stand-up gal, you kept your family together through this difficult period, and you deserve time to rest.