Originally posted by Kathryn
Oh boy am i struggling, … Im only going to say it once…I WANT TO GO!!!!!
Good morning Kathryn,
I can not imagine how you must feel with your husband going to your old club; I have feeling about people I do not even know when I see them going to the casino at my bus stop. My feeling are ones of resentment more than an urge to join them, but I do think that if they were close to me the desire to be with them might replace the resentment. At that time the proper thought would be not to harbor selfish thoughts, but to be acceptable to them having a good time, even if without me; after all we can not join them in every activity; there are things that can not be done together.
Adding a CG’s urge to gamble to a desire to be with a loved one does complicate the situation and is where we must use rational thinking and the strength that we have gained in our recovery program; we must take the time to play any gambling actions trough from the beginning to the end, to let us clearly see what the outcome would be. It would be mush better to welcome him home than to blame him for dragging you off to your demise (even when it would be you going by your choice, not by his will).
Maybe you saw his declaration a few months ago that "your problems or my problems" as a commitment for him to not gamble anymore, and maybe my "man’s view" that he would not involve you in his gambling anymore is entirely off base; but even if he is not living up to your expectations, be thankful that he is sticking to not asking you to be at his side or going to the bank for him for more money; recognize that the urges are coming from you and not from him tempting you or placing you in that situation.
You saying "I WANT TO GO" only once, has to be countered by your saying "I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT GO" over and over again. Stay strong and ride the urges out, the urges will not harm you and will subside. The real hurt and resentment may take a little longer.
God’s speed.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.