Thank you Velvet and P for your replies.
Now that i have calmed down i will explain myself, i was soooo angry last night and after a good sleep i can talk about what happened..which, was the icing on the cake yesterday.
I will start with Bailey. V, we did have a good visit with the paed, he has been put on medication that we are trialling. I started yesterday morning with 1 and a half tabs, we had lots of trouble with him getting them down, ice cream was the way in the end!!! So, i had a massage to go to and wouldnt be home for his lunch time dose so i explained to Dames many many times what time, how many, how to give it etc.
I went to my appt and when i came out i rang home. Bailey was due to have his meds 2 hours before i rang. I asked Dames how Bailey went, "oh, i completely forgot". I was enraged, such an important thing, one little thing for him to do that day and could he get his mind off himself long enough to do it????? No.
Needless to say i wasnt in a good mood when i got home.
We had a 21st birthday to attend last night, it was at my venue, the place i lived in and loved for so many years, one that i can go to now, but cannot step foot in the gaming area. Im not comfortable there, but as the party was there i went. I was sitting in the smoking area, i could see Dames pacing back and forth and i knew, i just knew that he was dying to get into those machines. I said nothing, and then he came up to me and said ‘im just going to chuck $10 in the indian (or whatever it was called). I said nothing. He went in.
Now, my issue is not that he gambled. When we went last time, i left him out there and i came home. At home i tidied up, i cleaned out the bill box, i cleaned the bathroom, it was when he came home and saw that i had done all this that he realised how difficult it was for me….that i was filling my time, taking my mind off it. I hadnt really given it much thought myself, but he was really sorry, he said he wouldnt do it again, he didnt want me to feel that way again. That is my issue here.
I am the cg in this house, i take full responsibility for that, i dont expect anyone to not gamble because of me. But the fact that he gave me this huge speil, and more to the point, that i BELIEVED him, infuriates me.
Anyway, im feeling better today, luckily for him i dont hold a grudge, its a waste of energy.
Im having a lazy home day today, hopefully i will catch up with some people on chat.
Hope you are well and happy,
Love Kathryn xxxxxxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan
