I want to talk about my Dad this morning,
My father died when i was 16. I used to dream that i would come home from school to him sitting on the chair in the kitchen and when i would run to hug him my arms would go straight through him. I havent dreamt of him for over 10 years, that is, until this morning.
I dreamt i was in a nursing home and i knew my dad was there but i couldnt find him. I asked one nurse who sent me one way, he wasnt there, i asked another nurse and she took me to him. He was in navy pajamas, in a bed, the sides were up on the bed. I looked at him and said ‘hi daddy’, and started to cry. He looked at me and said ‘hello tootie" (his nickname for me). I was leaning over the bed rails hugging him, i felt his hand on my back, and then i woke up.
I woke up sobbing and im still sobbing now. I cant stop, its coming in waves, its a very odd feeling. What im so sad about is that the dream was so short, i was only with him for about 10 seconds. I cant believe, after all these years that the feelings are so raw, its been 24 years since his death, which was sudden. I saw him before i went to school that day and never saw him again.
My sister was talking about him the other day, after the Japan earthquake. He was sent to Japan, to Nagasaki, after the war ended, and had a story about how they were all sleeping in tents, and when he woke up in the morning it was so quiet….there had been an earthquake during the night and the regement had been evacuated. Dad, bless him, had slept through the whole thing and when he got up they had all left…lol. Apparently he was ridiculed for months by his army buddies!!! Perhaps it was because of that, although we do talk about him often.
I feel better that i have written that down, he will be on my mind all day today.
Kathryn xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan
