You’re right about everything. I’ve got to remain focused on today. It took me over a decade to get into this mess, so anything less than a decade to get out would just be gravy I guess. I’m sure I’d gamble away the big win. I was once given $5000 cash and it would have gotten me out of the mess I was in at the time, but I just knew I could turn it into more. I knew I could double or triple it and pay back the loan and take care of my family. It was gone in one two day trip to a small poker room with a few table games. The bigger the loss the stronger the pull to take your next paycheck and win it all back. Always thinking, my luck is going to change and this time I’ll walk away. Then, now I’m really in trouble. I have no choice but to gamble this next paycheck. So sickening. So depressing that I’ve believed this lie for so long and hurt so many people. I wish I was normal. I‘m so jealous of normal people who pay their bills and enjoy hobbies and family time. I’ve ruined all that, but all I can do is take one day at a time. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Stay strong! Doing the right thing when you’re an addict is much more difficult than the world gives us credit for. I just hope I can do the right thing today.
