OK, so what are urges. This post is for me as suddenly I am getting mad urges to play. I am feeling quite stressed with how much work there is to do, and so I want to escape. Gambling did that, but made my stress worse.
There are people in the office but that never stopped me before.
My brain says that if I play just a little I will feel better. I know this not to be true. To be play well, you need time to wait for good hands. If you rush, you don;t win. And if I win I want to keep playing, and if I lose i HAVE to keep playing.
I am writing this only to remind myself the benefits of staying clean. My life is worth more than a game. Addiction is so hard for me to accept, I have never been able to accept who I am. I want to move on, but part of me wants to stay the same as it feels secure.
I feel all of your love and take strength form everyone here in recovery.
Thanks for letting me vent