Hi BBB
The whole, “just for today” and “one day a time” mantras are something that really took me years to understand.
I can’t imagine that anyone who has let problem gambling consume them thinks the sensible solution is to quit just for a day, today. The sensible thing I think would be to accept that “the addiction”(or however you view it), is dangerous and once it’s in the head or mindset of any CG there is only one winner. The addiction. It is proven every single day that it controls us, overpowers us, and I know that for me my life had become completely unmanageable because of it. Therefore for me I couldn’t understand how stopping gambling, but just for today, would be any use. I mean after all if it’s just about today as soon as the clock strikes midnight that will be tomorrow so I can gamble then. I’m not breaking my commitment. (Of course once the clock strikes midnight its a new today. And what was today at 11.55pm is now yesterday). Tomorrow never comes, in real time it is always today.
The thing is BBB, as is underlined very well in the above GA quote, we can only ever live today. You ask “what if I gamble next week?”. The answer is almost guaranteed, you’ll lose the money you gamble with making life at least bit more unpleasant.
The thing is that really today’s issues need your attention not the “what if’s” for the future, or the “if only’s” from the past. What happens next week, or indeed tomorrow dosn’t really make any difference to what happens today.
I’m not a person that cownts the days I’ve been gambling free and is futile for me to have any sort of target for a period of abstinence. It really serves no purpose. The important thing is always just getting through today. Every single person is capable of getting through just one day without gambling, whether its a hard struggle fighting urges every 10 minutes, or not, there is not one person currently posting on this forum however bad their gambling problem/addiction that has not been able to achieve one day gambling free.
Having done this there is absolutely no reason why any person should gamble the next day. Some days will be harder than others it isn’t a stroll in the park or a case of stopping “just like that”. It can be, and usually is a hard struggle especially when gambling has been prevalent in the last week or two.
You say in your profile you can usually abstain for about 30 days, and then you gamble, I cant help wondering, do you get paid monthly? There may be more than a co-incidence if this is the case. Maybe it’s just been a case of you abstaining because you’ve no money left.
You say the VPN failed you and as a result you ended up gambling, you obviously didnt get an email telling you it wasn’t going to work on this occasion so I’m guessing that you must have tried to access the gambling site in the first place. Can I ask why you wanted to gamble on day 38? What was different on this day compared to the previous 37.? Is it a co-incidence do you think that it was only day or two past payday when you gambled.
Also BBB I seem to recall you said you were signing up on Gamstop and had excluded from all online sites, what happened there?
We are all capable of talking the good talk, and just as capable of walking the good walk. Sadly most of us at any given time, especially after a recent gamble, will do the former and not the latter.
When I lived my life as an active CG, I was off the scale with my distorted thinking and dishonesty. The person I told the most lies to was myself. Something that took me years to see.
I sometimes judge others’ gambling problems and the accompanying mindset to that of my own when I gambled. I apologise if this upsets or offends you.
I dont like to see anyone suffer at the hands of this problem, I think a lot of CG’s grossly under estimate just how very bad this problem is.
To satisfy my own curiosity could you please explain to me how you were able to access £150 from your savings, but in your profile it says you’ve had to sell personal possessions.
What I mean is why sell your things to “get by” if you have savings? Wouldn’t it have been a better idea to dip into your savings to get by?
If you seriously want to quit this gambling for good you can do it, just like every single person here seeking help and support. It is as easy as getting through one day.
Of course you might have a desire to gamble “normally” and secretly harbour the thought, I know that I did for many a year. At the finish I took all the practical steps that are bandied about, not some of them, ALL of them.
I dont know if my VPN or Gamstop works, because I havnt tried to gamble online for ages. I think I’ll always have these barriers although I hope that I’m never in the position to see if they’re working . I did get someone to hold my money, I had no access to any of it for a long while. I had to do this with money and since that day I’ve never looked back.
BBB it aint an easy road to negotiate, but it can be done with support, barriers, blockers and proper thorough deep down self honesty.
Dont worry about what damage any future gambling might do to you. There is no need for you, or I, to ever gamble again. But no need for either of us to commit to anything more than getting through today.
I dont know if I’ll get through the rest of my life without gambling, I sincerely hope so, but pointless to commit to that.
I know one thing for certain though, and that is that Just for Today I will not be gambling.
Take care BBB, keep plugging away at it. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It’s really sad that any of us return to gambling but a lot of us have done many times before the penny finally drops, (sorry no sick pun intended).