One day at a time I try to make sense of it. I was a fool, I was stupid playing a game where only the house wins.
I try to make excuses, I have some money and no need to gamble.
I woke up and thought well wouldn’t it be nice if I had won a huge jackpot and be starting a new life not having to work instead I am going to gambling therapy.
It could be worse, I still have my life. Need to get a job and forget about my past mistakes. Also I need to keep a diary to remind myself why it hurts so much.
One more vacation I can’t take, one more bill I can’t pay, one more day of struggling. All my fault, as I type I almost smiled to be free and just live life as I did before I started gambling makes sense to me.
I don’t ever want to feel this pain again. Will have to look back and keep posting. On with the day and may it be a good one.