Hello Killrst1. Well done for taking the first step and recognising that you have a problem. I recognize the endless remorse after losing money and the fight inside my head between the gambler and the abstainer, (the gambler always won.)
I know it is a difficult time within your family, but you do need to be open about your problem, especially if it is affecting them. If you can’t do this by yourself, get support from someone – a trusted friend or talk to someone on a help line locally.
This is the most critical time, first admitting to yourself, so come back and talk more or visit a group. The way to distract yourself in the early days is to put the time and effort you would have put into gambling, into your recovery instead. I wish you well.