Hi Tony,
Great advice to close my Neteller and Skrill accounts. I know I should do this, my heart tells me I must do it because it will increase my chances to never gamble by x100 times. I used exclusively Neteller in the past 2-3 years of my gambling “career” so that’s the root of all evil! However, I have a Net+ MasterCard and 2 virtual Net cards. I need them in order to pay some online stuff. I have a complicated relationship with Neteller and Skrill haha. Need them to move my money in the cyber space but at the same time I hate them because their primary goal is to be gambling e-wallets.
Long story short, I work and I’m being paid online. I rarely use the banks in my country. Got used to this online money management and movement. I withdraw cash from ATM with my several MasterCards including Neteller’s one.
If I close my Neteller and Skrill accounts I know there will be no going back. It’s a huge decision I really need to think do I want for the rest of my life to not be able to enjoy the benefits of their services. They can be used for other purposes other than deposit to gambling sites, for example like online banks (though they are not that), online shopping, place to keep money in the digital world etc.
If it becomes necessary or I reach a point in my life where I’ll relapse like never before I swear I will close them! The moment I lose my last bet is when I usually go mad and self-exclude myself everywhere. In such moment of madness I will not hesitate at all and will execute permanent termination of my Neteller and Skrill account.
I’m staying gambling free until 2017 (first baby step) and from 2017 until the rest of my life! This is my current plan.
I feel great today! I will not gamble today and it does not bother me at all! I went through post-gambling feelings such as anxiety, depression, anger, regret, misery during September. I did have relapses in September as I mentioned in my post but it was clear in my mind those were the last grasps that gambling had of me in desperate attempt to put me back in the gambling trap. I didn’t allow! And here I am today standing like a warrior who won the battle though it’s still an ongoing war. I feel like a survivor! 🙂
Working on myself and learning to love myself without gambling. Gambling does not define me. Gambling destroys me. Destroy what destroys you! That’s exactly what I’m doing!