I was here and posted this 2months ago and I banned myself from the casino that I used to visit and I moved forward, was doing really good- had sold lots of stuff I didn’t need to make extra money, worked really hard and started to like myself again! Then this past weekend, on one of the first weekends I was by myself again, out of nowhere I went to the casino farther away that I didn’t ban because their banning process was so different and really a joke, and I never liked the place, but this past weekend I went once, then twice after I messed up and tried to chase loss, then 3 times, trying again to chase, when all did was loose, and loose and loose a huge amount. At this point I am shock. I was going so much better, I can’t even comprehend how this happened. It took me so long to get back on track and so much work to make up at least alittle for past binges of gambling and then just when I was barely making a little headway I go and do it again, in a huge way! I feel lost right now…. Today I could just use encouragement, stories, anything that will please help me. I have contacted a counselor I went to once before, and I hope to go every week now… I want this to stop so bad. I want to look back after a year, 5 years and just know that I am done! This is scary and humiliating, depressing, sickening, you name it… Any thoughts would be much appreciate!
