Dear diary
Some may feel that I should offer service to others regardless of how it can affect me and my recovery. I am easily stress when I was not ready. They only want to prove themselves right and me wrong.
Some have a plan and wanted to use me to solve their problem. It was pre meditated, it was done so carefully and tactfully without me noticing at first, this is a form of manipulation and cunningness. It was never about helping me in my recovery but a very selfish, self-centered interest and self-seeking ways to serve their needs.
I felt very relief after realizing that I will feel uncomfortable if it is not in line with what I am doing daily, following God and practicing the 12 steps recovery program. I will feel uneasy.
I should not take others inventory, I should take my own personal inventory and focus on my recovery.
I should not allow their problems to distract me and take my eyes away from God and my recovery, losing my focus and safety.
My 86 years old mum is in pain today due to leg cramp. It was a strong reminder that my priority should be on my family and not on others.