[c21]

Ty for your post. Yes there is no joy in gambling its a habit. I am staring into depths of hell atm and i did not want such a journey again in my lifetime ever. I have a very hard time to come to terms with it. I cant believe that I am here again after all these years. But then again I never ever really gave it up I just hid it better .
This time the money is to high to hide it and I may end up in prison for it. That is a sobering thought. It also makes this harder to bear. It will rip the family to shreds and all that i have created will be lost. I hope it does not come to that but it may.
So I have a nr of scenarios how this may play out. I am not sure about anything except that I will see a shrink at the earliest. I need that.