I see its been a very long time since my last update and in truth I really don’t no where to start, at this exact point in life I think I am right on the line of a nervous breakdown, I have to be honest as in truth that’s all I have.
Since my wife’s near death experiance I have been working 24/7 looking after her and the kids and over these last 3 months I have let myself go big time, I used to be pretty fit and always got some exercise in when and where I could but this last 3 months I have put on 2 stone, no exercise at all, poor eating and just sheer letting myself go……. I really do need to get a grip of life and fast.
I am not sleeping well and keep having nightmares and flashbacks of that night my wife was in so much pain, I did everything I could for her but even still she was in agony and dying in front of me I just cant get those memories out of my head, I felt her pain but more than that I was totaly helpless in helping her I wanted to take all her pain and suffering and make her at peace.
This life I live at the moment is totaly screwed up, having a rough ride at work as focusing on my family more and work are not sympathetic at all, havent got much family support as in truth they are all on there last legs.
Lee why are you moaning? plenty of people worse off than you my friend………………..I know very true just in a bad place, I need to get a grip and bloody fast if I do all will be well I know it will and if I dont well I just dont know.
Thanks for listening and really sorry to vent just at a totaly loss as where I go from here, just for today life is only just manageable.
Take care and wish you all well.
Maverick