Lizbeth, Laura, I did it and Kathryn thank you all for your support means alot, I had a doctor’s appointment today that I booked on Friday as knew things were getting out of hand and in truth believe I need some counciling, being honest the only good thing that came out of that appointment is I found my blood pressure to be sky high and they have referred me to specialist regarding it was 195 over 165 whatever that means the Doctor said it should be below 135 over 85 anyway in fairness it dosent surprise me it’s that high with everything going on at the moment but hey at least I know and can work on it, just purchased a blood pressure machine to keep a very close eye on it and see If I can bring it down (something I couldn’t have brought whilst gambling like I have done in the past) as for the counciling I will persuse that privately as the Doctor wasn’t very helpful on that side (and didn’t suprise me as from my personal experience seems to be the norm) anyway just wanted to update quickly and must get myself back to work.
Kathryn it has effected the kids massively as I am sure it would anyone but they are doing really well, my girl seemed more effected than my boy but in fairness he is older and also like me good at hiding his feelings, they are doing really well and in fact it’s probably just me falling apart at the moment I think itso the after shock of it all as when it is happening you just live off the nervous energy and adrenaline (not meaning gambling this time) I have faith and just need to get a grip of it all, it’s silly but everytime my wife says she is tired or has a pain I just think the worse………time will sort it I just know it will, take care and thank you once again for thinking of me means alot.
Just for today I will not gamble!
Maverick