Hi All:
It has been a while since I have posted. My gambler and I have since separated, and have been apart for about 8 months.
I am struggling to let go, and I dont mean of the relationship, I mean I dont know how to stop worrying about him, and how to stop being affected when I hear he is still gambling.
To give a bit of context, we broke up after over 5 years of being together. The first 3 or so years, while i was aware of the addiction, I did not appreciate what addiction actually was and as such, a lot of things went unnoticed and unaddressed. In the latter half of the relationship I began to make a concerted effort to educate myself on addictions, and understanding how to deal with someone with an addiction. I ended up spending the last couple of years of our relationship totally focused on him, his gambling, and how to obtain, and protect our future together. The relationship ended in or about March of this year – after two slip ups, and a pretty significant loss, our relationship reached a point is disrepair, my lack of trust turned into me wanting control, and he wanted freedom to work his “program” (and my program I dont necessarily mean GA – he just wanted the ability to do what he wanted, as he wanted, without my input or direction whether it be through GA, counselling, or otherwise).
Anyways, all that said, I spent the last few years of my life intensely in love with gambler, and I dont know how to break that tie.
Today i found out he was gambling again – my gut told me he was already from a few months back (we still keep in touch and I had a feeling when I last saw him). I confronted him, and advised his family of what i had learned. I am totally devastated and cannot stop thinking about it. I dont know what to do, and I’m hoping for maybe some advice from someone in a similar situation
thanks
Beau