Well, my mum left a message on my phone on Sunday to say to call as she had a letter for surgery on what was today. Two years ago she had surgery and died on the table and was in hospital for weeks so naturally she was a bit agitated and always calls me for medical advice. My phone was off at the time and on Monday morning I had a big ibs attack. I don’t get home till around 8 so by the time I get home too tired to do anything. It was on my mind most of the week. On Wednesday in the office I end up with a headache as my colleagues who I manage need too much support and help and are just yattering all the time when I have to get on with things.
An old colleague called me about a great job, very high pay but I said no as I was committed to where I was. Is this daft?
It was bugging me all week that I hadn’t called my mum as I knew it would be worrying her. Work is mega busy as busy time of year. Plus I had a letter from my Doctor asking me why I hadn’t gone to appointments and to go in to the surgery to have a blood test, which I though was odd.
A lot of things were wheying heavily on my mind
Work that needs doing in the house by two different firms, trying for dates since October believe it or not and the dates I gave them they didn’t pitch up.
What to do about the theft of a parcel for me in my house of five flats with one front door. Someone signed for it and took it.
All of the things I needed to do
And I went into overwhelm, loaded the computer game and spent 30 quid on it, for several hours. And I woke up a bit late to go to work. I was conflicted heavily and knew I couldn’t do all the meetings that day. I had to prioritise and my mum had been worrying me so much that I called her and had a long conversation.
Her surgery was cancelled but the surgeon is ringing her today to discuss why she is having surgery and a date for 4th February. I told my work that my mum takes priority and I will accompany her for the surgery. I could tell from her voice that she felt vulnerable, asking me if it would hurt. I told her to speak to the doctor.
I went to my docs surgery and left her a note as to why I was not going to appointments. Found out the appointment was for a coeliac test asked for by the dietitians which I had already had done. I am stopping the Chinese docs for a while as have had three attacks since the 29th.
I worked from home today as I am tired and feel,I have overcommitted myself to this job and now paying the price.
At lunchtime my son and I had a row because we misunderstood each other but we sorted it out. I bought him lunch. The money I gave him to look after last year for me he has spent, that is 1700 pounds. That is both my sons now who spent money I asked them to look after for me except my other son paid it all back pronto. Ben, my eldest at the time was hypercritical of Kai for spending the money this and now he has done the same. I was excited to
So past few days it is like all the typewriter keys have jammed when pressed at the same time. I think it is called stress.
I told my work that regardless of what’s going on if my mum has surgery on the 4th I will accompany her. It feels important to do that. I need to get my priorities right.
My son told me I am not reachable for a conversation when I play the game. Does anyone recognise those symptoms? What I know it is is tiring and affects ones energy and consciousness. So I think I have found a way to permanently delete it which I have done.
My son did his part in the new Netflix batman movie about the butler Alfred. He plays a bouncer in a nightclub having to get tough with someone. I am pleased for him.
Everything feels a bit too much
