very intresting to read could feel pain and know exactly how it destroys every dream and turns everything into nightmares. today im restless feeling panic attacks chest so tight. im only 25 hours clean. hopefully we can look back in time and laugh how stupid we have been, cant get much worse, well poor mans grave for me . funny i tried get life insurance to cover everything when i planned to take my life, when the insurance company ask me about how many times in hospital and rehab they wouldnt touch me. maybe a blessing. one last thing i found us gamblers very resourceful and very intelligent yet were thick fuckers. if only we could get time back we would taking over world with knowledge we accumalated
