Just to say I’m thinking of you today Jo. I hope you got some sleep and that you are coming to terms with your loss!
How crazy is that?
That we have to come to terms with self inflicted loss(torture!)
God forbid, if we were diagnosed with some incurable disease we would be searching frantically for ways to ease our pain but with gambling, (which IS an incurable/progressive disease) here we are (sometimes) still searching for ways to gamble and when we have to face the inevitable loss, sickness, grief and pain we wonder how it happened! Yet , because we are CGs, we repeat the same action over and over.
I think this repetitive action is what causes a CG to be confused Jo. We never stop for long enough to think. When we are in the throes of gambling our thoughts become blurred and like dogs chasing their tails, we keep going around in circles until we are forced to stop….
I gather from your posts that you gamble on slot machines? They are also my poison. I could sit for 20 hours at a time watching those damn reels spinning , waiting for the random prize and feeling the thrill of “winning” even €50, and all the time denying that it cost me five hundred!
It is only when we step back and look at it logically, Jo, that we will regain some sanity and power.
As Cat rightly says EVERY TIME we put a cent into those machines we become powerless.
The two lessons I have learned the very hard way are,
1. Once we cross the line into the CG world there is no turning back!
2. CGs NEVER win!
Stay focused. Just for today!