Just a thought, and this is more about myself than anyone else, but I think the reason I gambled was because I was unhappy with where I was. But instead of focusing on that and saying to myself, if you are unhappy do something about it, I found an activity that displaced the unhappiness and it replaced the thoughts of what I didn’t have with what I might have.
I am sitting at home, feeling flat, thinking about what I have lost – but struggling to think about what I have. I have my health, I have a job (for a while unless I truly implode) I don;t have much money but I have access to some. I have an amazing wife who is fed up and a wonderful son who will always be my son. Do I want him to know me as a depressed gambler who threw it all away, or do I want him to know me as a man who took control of my own affairs, accepted my own weaknesses and failings and then turned his life around.
I want to be there for my son, to help and enable him to be the person he has to be. And to do that I need to be the person I need to be – and maybe that person is different to the one I imagined. Perhaps this is my lesson. I must be humble and accept myself, warts and all. And move on.
Love and peace
M