Just a quick update. I just had my first session with the counsellor from GamCare and I was able to verbally express myself to him. We talked through a lot of my feelings, and we agreed what I have to do – actually I came up with it.
1) Focus on 1 day a time
2) If I start thinking about gambling to escape, understand that it won’t help me escape at all. Remember how I feel when I play and hate myself for it – do I want to feel like that again
3) DO something for my wife and child
4) Focus on my job and what needs to be done.
I actually feel better, so many the drugs are taking effect. Maybe it is just ornings I need to be careful of. I am going to try and go to bed this evening at 10 so I can catchup on my sleep, and see how that works. Maybe I can sleep 10-6 – that’s a full 8 hours. Then take the dog for a walk, make breakfast for the family, get the baby ready and be in work for 9am.
I think I have to let many things go, and focus on what is important, so that I don’t have other things to feel bad about.
I need to prioritise. My brother just said something interesting – That I do not know where I want to be.
Love to all, gotta go and focus.
Mav