Thanks for the replies, it’s great to see so many of us doing “well” at the same time and dare I say about bloody time!!
I don’t know what has really changed for me Sad except to say that each time I’ve gambled in recent years I found I was getting less and less out of it, and the only purpose it was serving was to skint me and make me miserable. Mind you I’ve thought I’ve had had my fill of it many times in the past only to come crashing down with an almighty bang as you know. As you mentioned in your post on another thread keeping the door open to the ever illusive “one big win” is a dangerous and ludicrous thing to do, and it something I’ve done in a roundabout way for many years.
I am lucky that I do earn a really good wage, and I was sick of doing it all in and having direct debits returned that sort of thing. The amount of wages I get these days are on par with what I would have once seen as a windfall, if I earned less though I’m sure that I would still be at the same place.
It’s funny I don’t remember the date I last gambled, but I do remember the date I last had a gambling urge, Dec 5th 2014. I’ll always remember that date, the date that I for once fought off a gambling urge and did the right thing. I said no to gambling, I made that choice and I decided then I wanted to be an ex-gambler for ever. To be honest I’ve felt like a new man since then, and although I hadn’t gambled for a couple of months (maybe more, maybe less I really don’t know), before then that’s when my feeling of liberation really began.
Of course I don’t take offence at your catastrophe remark, my life has been full of them, however things are a lot worse when enslaved to addiction because as much as I would think I was acting and thinking rationally I was far from it. Small things like a leaky tap which could have been fixed by simply changing a washer, would end up as a major flood costing hundreds of pounds to fix. Just because gambling or thinking about it was always preferable to changing a washer. A seized engine just because I chose to ignore an oil warning light. That sort of thing.
I am travelling back to London in style as I type this….only sitting in first class with my own legit ticket…I remember many journeys hiding in the toilets, and I remember many times being caught and kicked off. Don’t get me wrong I havn’t turned into a snob, far from it…..I’m sitting amongst the suited city gents with my work boots on, and I got a discounted ticket in the January sale!
I do understand where you are coming from with regards to “one day at a time” but as you know when you’re straight off the back of a gambling binge, or trying to seriously quit for the very first time a lifelong commitment just seems to daunting a prospect. Before any of us can really enter a genuine period of recovery, or a new gambling free life we have to endure a period of abstinence, I think this is true for all addicts. It is during this period of abstinence we really should concentrate our efforts on just getting through each day as it comes. Having said that if we set our sights on getting through the next 30 days, six months, a year gambling free we can’t get there overnight, and can only progress ODAAT.
The book I mention Sad explains a lot of the psychological mumbo jumbo that we’ve allowed ourselves to believe over the years and spells out in no uncertain terms how we’ve allowed ourselves to be brainwashed by our addiction. It’s not difficult to read but I think it’s intended more for people who are thinking of quitting. And in my opinion I don’t think it will be as effective to people who still have their thought processes distorted by worry about the shit that they’re in due to gambling, I think it requires a very clear head and open mind to absorb it and get the greatest benefit from it.
Jansdad I’m not one for making bold statements like “I vow never to gamble ever again” and the introduction and first chapter do appear very patronising. At the same time though we’ve behaved very immaturely and selfishly for years whilst gambling addicts, and some of us do need things spelt out to us as if we’re children. Some people I feel will benefit from that “pep-talk” although to be honest it did get my back up, and that’s all I had read when you were singing its praises. I was very sceptical. As to the solemn vow I do understand the logic of that, pick a date to quit, prepare yourself for that date and do it. Of course by the time most people get to that stage of the book hopefully they will have already stopped. If the book had of began by asking the reader to make a solemn vow to quit I don’t think I would have read it. I mean don’t forget the book was originally targeted at people wanting to stop smoking. I am going to apply the easyway method to smoking for myself but not for a few weeks yet. Not until I’ve been to Dublin and met Vera at least!! But I will let you all know the date I choose, I think I will buy the book specifically targeted at smokers though, because I’m sure it most differenciate a bit.
As much as I share your views on that book, I wouldn’t want to take anything away from the more mainstream support and help that has been around a lot longer and helped many people to live a new life free of and after addiction. I know that GT used to have a statement on this site (I don’t know if they still do), saying that they believe that gambling has been a learned behaviour and as such it can be “un-learned” The Gordon Moody Association have similar beliefs and have a great success rate, GA have the 12 step programme, not everyone there follows the full 12 steps but many many GA attenders havn’t gambled for years. The Easy Way method really isn’t too different to anything you will hear at any of the above, but for me it is straight to the point, whereas at GA and here at GT you will hear almost every week that it is hard to quit, lots of emphasis put on just for today, but the people that are telling you it’s hard to quit are those that struggle with it and then come back saying “ a slip is part of recovery, I must try harder this time” and those that witness these people time and time again.
I’ve said for years on this forum Jansdad it doesn’t have to be hard to quit, I’m sure Vera, P and Sad will vouch for me on that. I dosn’t have to be hard. What makes it hard for a lot of people is just accepting (wrongly) that slips are just part of recovery. And then that they just need to try harder. Not try harder I would say, try differently would probably make more sense. It may take months or years (look at me) to finally start to change, it’s very sad because these changes could have been implemented years ago if only we’d have listened.
Hope this post’s been long enough for you Sad. :-). I started it at Newcastle Central Station, and now we’ve just passed Peterborough!!
Geordie.