I’m sitting her with my partner watching telly on a lazy Sunday rainy day. A rarity as we are both quite busy. Something so simple is comforting for me as I continue to struggle to find the words to tell him my terrible secret. So many things holding me back as I eat myself up with this secret curse. From the outside with my friends, family and work colleagues my life looks good but it’s not. I’m wanting to sleep at least 11 to 12 hours a day, I know this is a sign of depression, at least when I sleep I don’t have to think about this problem. Feel so drained and exhausted for no real physical reason, making myself sick with the worry and terrible burden of this addiction. I never really viewed myself as an addict, but the penny dropped, I am a gambling addict and just thinking about it my drinking has increased. Have decided to give drinking a break for now as it’s not helping. Not liking myself that much today. Not sure why this has happened to me and how different my life would be now if I hadn’t gone to the casino 18 years ago……
