1. I need money to gamble.
2. I need a place to gamble
3. I need time to gamble.
Setting up barriers against them was the easy part. It stops me from gambling when I could not do it myself.
I can force myself to stop gambling but nothing else about me has change. If nothing about me change, nothing changes.
What is it like in the past?
I force myself to stop gambling but nothing else about me change, my belief still remain the same.
I believe that if I could wait patiently for the opportunity, pick the right football match to gamble, I can win money. I have done it many times. I don’t think that I was wrong.
I also believe that I can gamble like a normal person and stop at will. I will hit the winning and run, I will do control gambling.
What happen?
I manage to stop gambling but I could not stay stop gambling for long. I keep falling back into the same hole.
What is it like now?
I believe that I was wrong. I believe that my belief was wrong. That is exactly what the bookie and casino want me to think and feel, as long as I think and feel that I can win the gamble in football, I will return one day, if I continue gambling, the bookie and casino knew they will win in the end.
Winning is a trap, it just lead to periods of compulsive gambling. A compulsive gambler can never gamble like a normal person.
When I stop gambling, I stop losing money. I did not sacrifice any winning opportunities because I never win in gambling in the end. There was no winning, I only lose, sometime sooner, sometime later, the truth and ending is always the same.
I don’t want to lose a single dollar to the bookie and casino anymore and I don’t wish to fall into their trap. I shall remain total abstinent in all form of gambling today.
I only need to stop gambling today. Tomorrow I do the same.
Recovery is a one day at a time program (ODAAT).