I was scared about my wife finding out, until she found out and it was one of the biggest burdens off my shoulders. No longer do I have to be paranoid, keeping secrets, and lying about my gambling all of the time. My one regret is that I didn’t initiate my recovery the first or the second time (I relapsed over the summer). I really wish I could have initiated my recovery, but part of the reason I didn’t is that maybe I couldn’t–I had a full blown addiction. Like you, I could control and refrain from gambling in short amounts of time, but it was always within the full understanding that I was only quitting temporarily in order to gamble again. I’d lose money, take out debt, and then build up in order to gamble again–rinse, repeat.
So anyhow, I encourage you to maybe explore the possibility that you are going to need the support of those around you, in order to kick this thing in the butt.