[3raser]

the fact that i now want to leave it behind but seemingly cant is what is now making life an issue, i have convinced myself for so long that i was happy with my lifestyle that all issues have been left undetected.
i read you posts and i am so particular over the key points that offer value to a persons life, those minute details that many people overlook and i feel what you write and i believe for a moment that i could reach that point too and then something i can only identify as an alien takes over and everything becomes distance.
i dont even want to take part in gambling anymore, i dont seem to have a choice, i have been given 41 years, i think that is enough to realise i have nothing to offer. all i can do is press “place bet”