I’m currently screwing my life up and doing things that make me by far the worst person I know. I can’t help you from the point of view of someone who has or even is recovering, but I can offer advice as an active addict who has made every mistake in the book and currently hates himself with a passion. First, don’t take the loan from your friend. Sell something, anything. Work more hours. But right here and now don’t ever, ever take another loan. It’s a lie that we tell ourselves that a loan will help. In the end it adds to our shame and frustration. If you do take the loan, and forgive me but I bet you do, have the friend pay the bookie directly. No matter what you tell yourself if that money hits your hands how are you going to resist the urge to make that one last bet? If you just make one more bet then you can pay back the friend, the bookie and who knows you may even come out so good you can make another bet and climb out of the whole you’re in. Shit, it’s all lies. You’d be better off letting the bookie break your legs than taking out another loan. God I’ve got to stop taking out loans. This life sucks. Sorry for ranting and I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I know your pain.
