Hi Stacey, I am the mum of a CG which has been going on for Over eight years. I understand everything you are saying. Our son does just the same, in manipulating his access to money. He has his monthly salary paid into his account ( he won’t let me look after his finances) this month he has asked to borrow money as his bank card is bent and he’s waiting for a new one. He is very manipulating and has constantly pulled the wool over our eyes. Deep down he is a lovely sensitive person, but he lets the gambling monster control his life. Like you I feel exhausted, but what I want to say to you is that everything velvet says regarding protecting ourselves is so vital. I wish I had found this forum early on in our sons addiction, because the strategies velvet talks about have helped in ensuring we take action to protectt ourselves. Our son was in a five year relationship with a lovely girl who we have come to love as one of the family. There are no children involved, but she stuck with him. However, she can no longer cope with his addiction and has finished with him. As much as I was selfishly hoping they would get married as I would love her as. Daughter in law, I am glad she has finished with him, because if our son does not sort himself out she will have no life with him. Like your partner, he has stolen from her and us. Now he can focus on his problem and get sorted. So far he’s not doing that.
You are not stupid
D, you are a sensitive loving person who is trying to make things work. Like velvet says and I have had to take this on board, only we cN save ourselves and our cg’ s can only save themselves. I can believe in my son all I want, but he has to believe in himself S does your partner. Gamblers are very selfish people when it comes to their Addiction. My heart goes out to you. You will find constructive practical help here as well as emotional support. Take care. HOpe 1
