As any post that ever hints on anything less than perfection in f and f usually is . But here’s my tuppence worth and I hope people who feel as insulted by the generalisations in this thread as I do get to read it :
Well it’s true you can’t put your mind into he head of a “cg”
For example – I love Christmas and enjoy it every year .
I also feel full of love every Christmas ( and all year long)
I never once thought my family would be better off without me -I am the glue which holds everything together – I am the mother- maybe not as perfect as some would claim to be , but a loving mother nonetheless
Maybe the in laws and cousins feel it’s time to stop targeting the “cg” and see the good in them? Interestingly the people who can see the good are the people who know him/ her best. – not some Inlaw great uncles !They may not be in denial they may just think enough’s enough- let the poor person have a Christmas where they are not shamed , where they are allowed to feel connected and included and from which they don’t wAnt to escape ?. It’s not a matter of denial- it’s more a matter of not jumping on the bandwagon.
. Why would a “loved one ” wish to have everyone pick on the “cg”? Is that not ganging up and bullying ? We all have good in us if people can get off their pedestal long enough to see it. Maybe this is a huge cultural difference but when people are invited to my home there is an understanding that they will show respect for all members of my family and if they don’t show this – they will be shown the door !
How would uncle Fred possibly know the family business and if he was going to be rude to a member of the family why would he be invited ? Makes no sense to me . It sound like it is his arrogance that is making everyone uncomfortable !
Maybe it’s just me but this reads like a very big axe is grinding and I feel generalisations based perhaps on personal experience or even that of some others are unhelpful and discouraging.
If you wish to use labels then yes I am a “cg” but definitely none of the above applies to me – I’m not saying it applies to no one – but I find the generalisations in this post very insulting and discouraging . Vera wrote a very good post about connectiveness and recovery – might be worth people popping over to read it .
We would all like the perfect family and sorry if I am bursting anyone’s bubble – it does not exist – maybe it’s time to let go of the quest for perfection and work on making what we have as great as we can make it ?
I am so happy I live with my Lovely supportive family where we are allowed to make mistakes and recover from them in a private environment . Maybe thats why I recovered ?
And finally – not all cgs have stolen !!