I stopped counting my days of recovery when I had a lapse .
That was a silly thing to do as many have said abstinence and recovery are completely different things .
I am not aiming for abstinence -(although it would be good ) I’m aiming for recovery .
So I reckon I am about two months into my recovery now .
I am not competing with anyone .
I don’t need to remember a date of my last bet – I just need to know I am in recovery and working on my faults and my life .
If others wish to mark their recovery differently that’s entirely their business – as maverick puts it – what they think of me is entirely their own business also – I only need to worry about what I think of me .
I am not going to let one , two or even six errors of judgment effect my thinking so that I feel I have made no progress.
Some people need those day and dates- and that s great –
I need to know that I am being honest with myself -and my recovery is so much longer than the last bet I placed .
It is so much greater than the few weeks that represents .
I am so much happier with my life than weeks can change .
In truth I have been slowly embracing recovery for two years – I have never went back to the dark days of the past .
I have grown as a person , I have dramatically reduced debts , I have not gambled for almost all of it .
I know from friends on here it doesn’t work like this for everyone – some people gamble once and immediately thrown back into a full scale relapse .
I have never been without enough money in the past two years(more would have been nice ) . I have never felt the same unhappiness .
For me recovery is about learning, improving and moving forward – whAts the point in recovery otherwise ?