[kpat]

I somehow missed your post here and am so sorry you have found yourself caught up again in the horrible cycle. Goood for you for trying again. That’s all we can do is get back up, put all the barriers back in place and move forward. All those tools you have used are just waiting to be picked back up and put to work. You are worth the effort to get stopped and stay stopped.
What can come of gambling? Nothing but heartache. Who needs more of that?