Hi Bosslady,
I’m new to all of this too so perhaps can’t offer too many words of advice/support. But all i can say is is that this is a very powerful and manipulative problem that can make you feel completely worthless and desperate to make things better. You are doing incredibly well to be so strong and to be the rock and the consistency that your children need.
Your post inspired me to be a little stronger today in my actions with my cg. I just wanted you to know that your strength helped me. So thank you