I have to admit I have been struggling with urges. Even planned to go back to the same casino this next Tuesday. But, today is a new day. And I have decided I don’t have to give up all the progress I have made because of an outing with my girlfriends.
So I have been getting right back to work denying gambling a space in my life. Refusing to accept its power over me. I can’t deny the fact that I gambled, but I can deny being completely controlled by it by denying my need to return and continuing to take steps toward releasing the addiction.
No, I cannot deny the fact that I have gambled or that I still crave it, but I can deny the necessity of it, or at least try.
I have made progress in opening my mind to accepting the fact that gambling is not an inevitable part of my life unless I allow it to be. I am beginning to see that nothing need have control over my life unless I let it. There is a momentum which has already been established where gambling is losing its importance in my life. I like that. I like where I am today and I refuse to go back where I once was. I am choosing not to regret last weekend, but instead to use it to keep me motivated and committed to recovery.
Happy Valentine’s Day! Love yourselves! I am loving my new pink pajamas that hubby gave me. Life is good and I am not going back to misery, no matter how tempting. What is so attractive about misery? Why is it so tempting?
