“I don’t like having my thoughts from maybe last October quoted back at me so someone can score a point ”
I have not had your experience about too close to the bone – so I cannot comment .
Vera I think sometimes we all need to face up to stuff .
However , support is meant to be support .
We should not feel judged – we should feel supported.
Often I feel I can’t write openly on my thread because of that judgement – so i guess if it’s not honest what’s the point in writing it. An example – I would not claim to have a perfect marriage but we work at it , we are still together and as the years roll by we have a depth of connection that others may not get but we get it! I find I have to defend my marriage in groups because of maybe something I wrote months ago on my thread, perhaps during a blip ( and most “real” relationships have blips ) . I say something about my husband in group and someone accuses me of giving them mixed messages about my marriage because Of my thread – I think my marriage is really none of your business and if u are so focused on mine It sets huge alarm bells off as to the state of your own-!! there’s a lot more to being honest in a marriage than whether someone gambles or not !!
I understand others may have had very different experiences- others may not have had the experience of feeling judged rather than supported .
So I guess yes , I have felt my thread has been used to prove me to be a liar in groups ! If they had been called “judgment groups ” rather than support groups I probably would have avoided them !! This is my experience and as such is it valid for me !