I dont know where to start but i’ll try to cut it short.
The flight down was absolutely horrible. 11 hours on a plane leaves a lot of time to think. My husband slept through most of it as it was an overnight flight. I on the other hand could not sleep at all and was totallly consumed by thoughts of everything thats happened this past week. Talking to all of the wonderful people here and the ga meeting. Finally had a much needed release and cried myself through several hours underneath my blanket.
During the 3 hour bus ride i decided that i have to tell him sooner or later and tried to think of how and when. I decided that i would let him have this week without telling – and myself incase he would say the worst possible, just one more week.
We arrived and went down to the beach, sat down , had a drink and i tried to hold a normal conversation. Asked about his new job etcetera. Thats when i really noticed thats he was different – edgy and not his old happy self. I know that he loves travelling so this was not like him at all. Well, honestly i had noticed for a long time but blamed it on other things. After some time ( and drinks!! Haha) I finally had enough courage to open up a bit about me being in some sort of crisis. I didnt tell about the gambling part but other stuff thats also bothering me, hoping that he would bring it up if he already knew so I wouldnt have to say it out loud. After all i had decided not to ruin this week. Conversation went along pretty good and he seemed a bit more relaxed when we got back to the room.
Went to dinner in the evening and you have probably already guessed it – but yes, i finally told him! Could not wait one more day, it had to be said. Turns out he knew, or suspected anyways but never said anything. We talked and talked for hours and we are gonna make it through this. Can not believe it went down so well and for the first time in ages i feel a sense of hope. Now i just have to do this- no more gambling.
I am so glad that i joined this forum. I dont know what i would have done without you guys. ❤