I dont blame my partner at all. I just would have liked her to help me a little.. I understand if she leaves. To be honest I dont have the right to ask her to stay. I have put her through so much over the years. I will let her make up her own mind. If she stays or goes. Laura, I feel worthless, ashamed, have no money and im run down from gambling. I know thats what gambling takes from a human.Gambling takes everything…..
I know i had enough. Thet doesnt mean two months down the road i wont do it again. I need to make a plan tto stop gambling. I need tools to put in place so i can cope with wanting to gamble but cant. I have to see a doctor when i get paid. To be honest im not sleeping,eating or even thinking straight. I have a very hard road to recovery and i know its not easy for any complusive gambler.
As I said im not thinking straight. I dont have money for food, petrol etc…I cant live on nothing. My family love me but cant give me anymore loans. I fully understand this. Maybe its better if they dont. I need money for food etc.do sale the car and get the bus…….will this take some of the expenses of me like road tax,insurance petro costs,repairs etc…I will GET 250 euro for the car through a dismentlers….The bus system is shit in the country…Its very bad….I dont know what to do anymore……..My head is all over the place……
Laura… I will keep coming back. I think the first step is to be honest………I told so many lies that my partner doesnt believe me or family. I fully understand why. I have to start to be honest with me and no one else…..