I almost broke up with her due to her cocaine use early on in the relationship. (about 6 months to a year in). I stupidly didn’t see it, and it was pointed out by my sister. I didn’t believe my sister when she said, but caught her red-handed about a month later. She claimed that it was something she has been doing for years, that it was a once a month kind of thing and just $50.00 when ever she did it. I hated it, but learned to live with it as she is fully functional, smart, articulate, and a great person to be around…However, that habit has increased to 1-2 times a week now. She has the permanent “sniffles” and knows she has a problem in that area…but honestly, its the gambling trips that are killing us financially….each time we start to get ahead, she blows it all and I am so hurt. She totally wiped us out 3 different times in the last year alone, but has put us behind the utility bills/food shopping at least a dozen times between her casino trips, and the fake online gambling that she does. I want to throw her out but I don’t want to push her over the edge. This is killing me and I need help. I suffer from depression and anxiety and am really trying to make drastic changes in my life. I haven’t had a drink in over 14 months because alcohol makes my depression unmanageable. I am craving a drink now more than ever before and I am resisting it as I know I will go full blown alcoholic in just one drink, which will lead to another suicide attempt. Aside from her gambling and drug problem, everything in my life is on the right track. I have a good job, and have been rock solid as far as spending discipline, and not touching alcohol at all. I feel this is going to break me. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live…like this…….
