HI Toyman, I hope I can offer some practical advice,I have suffered with a gambling disorder,although it is slightly different as I have always worked and was,for most of my married life the main bread winner.
Your wife may well not gully realise she has a gambling disorder yet , and is hoping that she can win the lot back and get back to normal.
However, once gambling becomes compulsive this is really unlikely, as people with a gambling disorder seldom have the control to cash out.
If you could quietly explain this to her and show her the 20questions on the GA website. Everyone thinks they will have a big win!!! It seldom happens that way.
I think smashing the ipad is a great idea . It is very difficult to put a gambling block on an ipad (although you could have sold it and got a little of the money back!)
Apple devices are almost impossible to put gambling blockers on but please set up a gambling block on every other device in the house, including your wife’s phone. Remember she could be in the next chair actually gambling and you might be unaware.
If money is scarce right now you could put K 9 on these devices but this is not foolproof .
Take all your cards , ring and cancel them as the details will already be stored with online casinos. It will be easy for your wife to remember the codes On the back .They will send you out new cards. Keep these hidden (you may need to get them sent to another address ). You could maybe hide them at work.
It is a sad fact that your wife is unsafe with cards, and may always be.
I know you love your wife and that you are a generous man. If online gambling is the only issue , then these steps should limit her ability to gamble. Please remember that cash can easily be used to buy neteller and prepaid credit cards at a local shop, so you may have to limit that too.
Someone suggested that you convert cash to gift cards for local supermarkets so that way your wife will not be handling cash for now. Some however, give cash as change , so buy small vouchers.
I hope these practical steps help you to keep your money safe.
As for your wife, I hope some non-gambling time will help her realise how crazy things had become. She will not be happy, and you may well encounter some abuse, but not only have the right to, but you must look after the welfare of your family .
Try not to label her as a “cg” or any other disparaging label . I know this might be hard but trust me she did not chose to have this gambling disorder, but she must of course manage it. That is her responsibility .
The things I have mentioned we call barriers . You have every right to keep the money for your family safe.
I don’t think it’s helpful to get into a mine and yours situation although I can understand your absolute frustration at seeing your hard earned cash disappearing in such a frivolous manner.
You are a team and for now she is unable to be an equal team member when it comes to cash. In fact for now it probably doesn’t feel like you are a team at all.
Is there any reason why your wife doesn’t work? Perhaps a job would fill her time and give her focus.
I hope these step are helpful.
Your priority right now is to keep your money safe .
Your wife’s feelings about this right now are not valid, as she is seeing the world through the eyes of a person with a gambling disorder.
I hope you can get this sorted out now, but in the end you must put yourself first and and not allow yourself to be dragged down by someone else’s addiction.
Hope this helps.