Hi Tinkerbell
It isn’t a backfire when a CG feels enablement slipping away and leaves to find enablement elsewhere Tinkerbell, it is the nature of the beast. Please don’t beat yourself up thinking what you could have done differently, your ex appears to have believed you were strong enough to resist his addiction and an addiction as strong as his doesn’t like to be thwarted.
I cannot tell you what to do, I can only tell you I have heard of similar circumstances many times.
I hear alarm bells ringing when you say you are prepared to beg for his to stay and I hope you will read more threads in this forum which will hopefully help you realise how powerful corrosive and dangerous the addiction to gamble can be. The fact that he turned up again to get help with his finances suggests he believes you are vulnerable so please be careful.
You ex has managed to declare himself ‘in love’ in a very short space of time – time enough though for him to find somebody gullible who possible will provide him with money with which he can gamble. I may appear cynical to you but I unwittingly lived with the addiction to gamble for 25 years and I know how manipulative it is.
I really do understand your pain but broken families and lives are harder to repair than a broken heart. I hope you will keep posting and hopefully reading.
Velvet
